I thought I'd share this with you all. It's a little something from my brain that I wrote and posted to Tumblr a bit back (here's the original post). It's a thought I ponder often, and a lesson I seem to be constantly walking through. Maybe it applies to you too. Either way, I hope this blesses you in some way.
Here you go:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” - C.S. Lewis
I’ve been thinking about that quote lately. I like it, and I agree with nearly all of it. However, I don’t agree that a heart can become irredeemable. God can redeem anything, if one lets him. But anyway…
It’s true you know. To love is to be vulnerable. Any kind of love, agape (unconditional), érōs (romantic), philía (friendship), as soon as you give it away, you’re putting yourself right dead smack in the middle of Very Probable Hurt. That’s an awful lot of power to hand over.
For some, it’s just easier not to do that. Or maybe it’s not easier; it merely appears to be the safer alternative to putting oneself “out there” again and risk getting smashed to pieces yet again. And as good as that decision may seem at the time, curling deep into a sheltered shell really isn’t the greatest idea. Why? Because it’s true. Your heart will change. It’ll grow cold, hard, and bitterly miserable. Not only will it not give away love, it’ll have a very hard time accepting it in any form. It won’t stay inside either. Give it some time, and it’ll change you from the inside out. Sure, maybe you need to “give yourself a break”, or maybe you’re just not the type to wear your heart on your sleeve, but God didn’t make hearts to be bubble wrapped and stored away forever. He sure as heck doesn’t do that with his.
I suppose what I’m getting at is, being broken and hurt is a part of this life. People will hurt you. That’s a fact. But there’s beauty in brokenness, and lessons to learn. Running from it only makes things worse. But I guess that’s selfish nature, isn’t it? Yet in order to protect ourselves in such a way we end up destroying instead.
There is a bright side. God will always be there to pick you up when you fall, if you let him. And by the way, he’s one that’ll never betray.
And you know what I’m really learning? To love is to deny yourself. Unless it’s narcissism.
Easier said then done. Far easier to ponder and write. Why is doing always the hard part? It’s annoying.