There seems to be two main stereotypical views and approaches to irritations. I think of them as the “Get Thoroughly Irritated and Talk About It” and the “Overly Optimistic ‘Let’s Learn From This Invaluable Lesson!’” theories.
The second view can be tiring. I’ve often times seen it used a mere front mask to hide simmering anger that only leads to hardened bitterness. But, when that is not the case, the second view is a good one. Clearly, most tend towards the first. Why do you think there are so many grumpy people on Earth? Irritations and annoyances are an inevitable part of life and will come to say hello every day like an overly friendly creeper. Anyone who thinks otherwise is clearly delusional, and that too is annoying. Most of the time irritations are minor, and we forget them quickly enough. Other times they get into the Somewhat Major to Definitely Major range, and that is usually when mouths start blabbering from the sheer excitement that it brings.
I had an incident a few days ago. I was just sitting in this car, in a parking lot, listening to oldies and waiting for Someone to be done with shopping so we could leave (that’s not even the annoying part). After some time, Someone arrives and I turn the car on. Note: turn on – not start up. The car is a hybrid. I commanded it to do a perfectly normal car thing. It said no. I commanded again. It said no. I tried a different command. It still said no. To make it short: the car decided it definitely did not want to shift into reverse. Elvis was singing "Don’t Be Cruel" the entire time.
Really not helpful, Elvis.
After glaring, grumbling, pressing many buttons, making a few calls ("So, there's a problem with the car...") and shutting Elvis up once he started singing "Heartbreak Hotel" I ended up having to get the thing towed away to be fixed. What was supposed to be a quick errand run ate up most of my day.
This is usually the part where the writer then presents the infamous Moral of the Story and how they suddenly had an epiphany that showed them the err of their attitude. Maybe they met some person, saved their day, came across a unique opportunity that blew their minds. Not I. I came across no such particular ground-breaking moment that day. In fact, it’s not until right now, as I type away in the dark when I should be sleeping, a post to be posted in my present time, the future, have I taken the time to think back. We don’t have to choose to be either of the extremes, because this truly is a choice. Clearly you may be more naturally inclined to one or the other, but that still does not remove the fact of choice. We need to choose to be less of a Grinch, but not quickly run to the other side and risk hiding behind and burying negativity in over-positivity, for that is merely deception of perhaps the worst kind: deception to oneself. Wouldn’t it be better to assess and accept the reality when it is out of our control, then choose to have a genuinely not negative attitude about it?
Basically, without lying, griping, whining, worrying or stressing, deal with it, in the best way you know how. Because will being annoyed, worried, angry or blind change the situation? No? Then don't do it.
I love this. Yes most people do tend to gravitate towards one of those two extremes. I also agree that "over-positivity" can be unhealthy when insincere. Did your car get fixed? And I hope Elvis doesn't have negative associations now :)
ReplyDeleteIt did, thank goodness! I'm thinking the technology on these hybrids still need a bit of work. ;) Elvis and I are still on good terms, if anything I am amused now when I hear those two particular tracks.
DeleteIt doesn't change the situation - you are completely right.
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Eb x
This is so true... letting it go isn't as easy as we would like it to be but we should always want to keep working on that... I have a lot of work in that department but I never give up trying to be less irritated... Sometimes it just feels good to let it out.
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This is true! As I was typing the last paragraph I kept thinking, "Watch me go ignore my own advice two minutes from now!"
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this perfectly summed up my reason as to why I did not end complete my psychologist registrations!
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How I agree!
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Federica
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Seriously great post. I think running to either side of the irritation equation is not worth it. It is better to just accept the reality of the situation before being in a hurry to decide how you feel about it.
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